Every End is a new Beginning
by PointlessKnife
Summary: When the book opens, that is his lifeline. Can his friends save him before he falls too far?


Natsu Dragneel was gone. He knew that much. He didn't know anything else. His eyes were hollow and empty, nothing shown in them as he stared blankly at the black void he was floating in, the cold space tugging at him, calling for him. The voice held no emotion as it called for him, other than the raw power it contained.

The book had taken everything from him. His memories, his feelings and who he was. He knew there was something missing, just out of his reach. He wanted to know, he realized with a jolt. The emptiness was gnawing away at him and not knowing anything just felt wrong. The determination filled his heart and his eyes slowly became less clouded, like smoke rolling on to reveal sharp and shining stars in a pitch black sky. He wanted something. Something the book had taken.

Somehow his newfound strength got him what he wanted. Slowly, one by one, memories trickled into his head.

 _"Zeref-nii, Zeref-nii look!" A small pink haired boy yelled happily. He was beaming as he rushed giddily up the hill, stumbling every now and then._

 _"What is it Natsu?" Zeref asked, smiling fondly. Natsu grinned and showed Zeref his hand, which had a tiny flame dancing on it._

 _"Wow, that's great!" Zeref cheered._

 _"I know! It isn't very big though..." Natsu trailed off sadly._

 _"You've just started to learn, it's bound to take some time." Zeref reassured him, smiling fondly._

 _"Really? Show me what you can do!" Nastu pleaded._

 _"I'm afraid my magic is for attacking and it's really destructive. All scary and shadows." Zeref stressed._

 _"I'm not scared of anything." Natsu boasted, and the two collapsed into laughter._

 _"Zeref-nii!" Natsu's voice was hoarse as he screamed. Smoke rose in a great pillar and stole his breath as he desperatley searched the burning house. "Mum, Dad?" he choked weakly, tears sliding down his cheeks. A figure rushed towards him, indistinct in the haze. Natsu flinched away and whimpered. Zeref blinked. "Natsu?"_

 _"Zeref-nii?" he murmured hugging his brother._

 _"Thank God you're alive." Zeref sobbed, holding him close. "Lets get out of here."_

 _"But Mum and Dad." Natsu weakly protested._

 _"T-They're... They're not here anymore." Zeref whispered quietly, voice closed off. "We have to get out of here."_

 _"Okay." Natsu mumbled._

 _They somehow dodged the burning rubble, the flames and the dragons black, blunt claws as it destroyed their village._

 _Racing over the hill they played on every day, the boys looked back to see a figure attacking the dragon, luminous bursts of magic cutting through the smoke. The great beast eventually fell, with a great tremmor that shook the earth. The man cackled, tilting his head back and roaring with wild laughter. Natsu and Zeref exchanged terrified glances before fleeing once again._

They didn't remember bringing Natsu back to the guild. The only things from their job Lucy could recall were fighting the monsters then Zeref appearing, walking down the hill and smiling, holding a very familiar book. He might have said something but it was forgotten when the book snapped open and Nastu fell down like a bag of rocks. No matter what they tried to wake him up, he wouldn't respond. He remained pale and emotionless, eyes stubbornly closed shut.They somehow got him to the guild, barging past their worried guildmates and rushing into the infirmary. Master Makarov had heard the commotion and followed them in, putting a ban on anyone other than Team Natsu entering.

"Master, do you know what's wrong with him?" Erza questioned frantically.

"Yes." The Master sighed. "Roll him over so you can see his guild mark."

Lucy gasped when she saw that his Fairy Tail mark was almost gone, so faint it was barley showing against his skin. There was another mark on his other shoulder but it was too faint to clearly see what it was.

"What's going on?" Gray spat.

The Master's voice was grave. "Natsu Dragneel is most likely gone. The boy we know is probably gone, hollow inside instead. He'll have to fight his way out of the void he's in."

"What, Gramps, this doesn't make any sense?" Gray yelled, fustration bleeding into his voice.

"E.N.D stands for Etherious Natsu Dragneel. As far as I know his memories and powers were locked in that book. A little reseach suggests that the book will drain him of everything. We don't know what will happen next, all we can do is wait."

Gray started yelling but didn't get very far as Makarov knocked him out with one of his massive fists. Erza stood, frozen in shock, look of pure disbelief on her face before her expression closed off and she took a seat by the dragon slayer.

Lucy started to cry quietly, tears rolling slowly down her face. Wendy sniffed as she watched Natsu lie there, so pale and still and hurridly wiped her eyes.

 _Losing Natsu didn't happen quickly, the events didn't blur and Zeref wasn't left in the aftermath, wondering what happened until he realized that his brother was gone forever. No, it happened slowly. Natsu had inhaled too much smoke and it was slowly withering him away from inside. There was nothing either of them could do. It pained Zeref when Natsu had to comfort him, the older one, the one who had to look out for his younger brother. Just look what a pitiful job he did. On the day little Natsu's heart stopped beating Zeref was left alone in the woods they were hiding in, howling with grief and pain. For days he did nothing but stare blankly at Natsu's grave, missing the pink haired boy. Until an idea crept into the back of his mind, growing like poison ivy, choking away the worry. He enrolled in an acadamy of magic and started working, harder than he had ever worked before, just to see that innocent smile again. He was warned against it, told time and time again that it wouldn't work. Zeref refused to listen, if there was no way to bring Natsu back then he would make a way and if it couldn't be done, then he'd just be the first._

 _The curse suprised him. He never expected to be punished for a simple wish, the desire that drove him to live. Reflecting on it, he could see why but that didn't mean it was fair. Nothing was fair, the dragon attacking their village, their parents dying, or Natsu shallow breathing eventually stopping in that cold, still forest. Life just seemed to hate him, so he was determined to get this one last victory over fate._

 _He countinued to suffer and take life, never being able to touch a living thing again. He soon yearned to die, but before he went, he wanted to see that smile one last time. He wrote books, demons born from bitterness and his desire to die. He cried again when Natsu's onyx eyes slowly opened and he wept, for joy, sadness and just crying to get it all out of his system. Everything, all the pain, all the waiting was worth it just to feel two small arms wrap around his sobbing form and hear that voice say quietly. "Zeref-nii... Don't cry."_

 _Natsu was trained by the demons of Tartaros, although he didn't really understand that he was their Master or why he was supposed to become strong. It didn't really work out, despite becoming much stronger, he couldn't focus. This became more and more of an issue until Zeref eventually had no other choice but to turn to Igneel who happily agreed to teach and raise Natsu but in return for Natsu to partake in a dangerous time travelling mission to slay Acnologia. Zeref agreed but talked to Natsu every night. One particular evening caught Zeref off guard._

 _"Hey Zeref-nii?"_

 _"Yes Natsu?"_

 _"Why do I need to become so strong?"_

 _"Well, one day you'll have to fight someone very strong called Acnologia."_

 _"No. The real reason, there's another isn't there. Please tell me Zeref-nii, I-I want to know."_

 _Zeref sighed. He hadn't expected to have to answer this question so soon. "You have to kill me."_

 _"W-What? No... I can't Zeref-nii, you suffered so much to bring me back. Yes, I know, I remember being dead, it was so cold. You're my family, I couldn't!"_

 _Zeref looked down sadly. He knew that this was the last week before his brother would go to the future with the other dragon slayers and that he had to seal his memories and curse powers in the book this evening._

 _"I'm sorry Natsu, this is goodbye for now?"_

 _"Huh, what? Zeref-nii!" Natsu wailed, starting to cry. His body glowed breifly and he collapsed, fast asleep and snoring softly. Zeref looked down at the sleeping boy and gentley ruffled his hair. "I'm sorry Natsu, it was better this way. You get a chance at being human now, I hope you're happy." Before walking away, never once looking back. Not seeing his brother for 400 years after._

Natsu wasn't cold in the void anymore. He could feel his reassuring magic running through his veins and his blood boiled with his curse power. _I died... But he brought me back..._ Natsu thought slowly. _If only to have me kill him in the future. No! He loved me. That's why. But I also have to kill him but I don't want to. No matter how you look at it I'm a monster, created to destroy._

The group stared in horror at the mark on Natsu's shoulder. The mark that had been oh so very faint at first had suddenly flared with colour and stood threateningly on his shoulder. It was the Tartaros guild mark. The Master let out a groan of defeat. "He's lost. Natsu is E.N.D now."

"No."

The Master looked up suddenly. "What do you mean?"

"Natsu is _not_ gone. He's in there somewhere." she yelled defiantly. She slowly walked over to the bed, every footstep echoing in the silence that followed her outburst. She sat down on one of the empty chairs near the bed and took his hand. "You're in there somewhere." she mumbled. "Come back to me Natsu."

There was a sudden clatter as the book Happy had been holding silently fell to the floor. Erza frowned and picked it up only to have a look of suprise.

"It's got words appearing in it." she exclaimed, causing Master, Lucy and Happy to suddenly snap to attention. Master snatched the book and started reading, Happy curiously floating nearby, reading over his shoulder.

"It's Natsu!" he shouted. "It's about what's happening to him right now. Lucy, carry on with whatever you were doing before, it's working."

"W-What?" she stuttered before turning back to Natsu, eyes darting to where his Fairy Tail mark was. It was pale but definately there.

Lucy took his hand again and closed her eyes. Behind them Gray began to stir. "Wha-" he was cut off as Erza started whispering in his ear, explaining everything that had happened while he was knocked out.

Master kept on checking the book then glancing back at Natsu's sleeping form.

 _Natsu had been about to accept it, not even thinking about what had happened in the 400 years in the future. He guessed that he killed his brother, became a monster and then lost everything to the book. He was about to admit defeat and surrender to the void, the darkness seemed welcoming and cool. He honestly was about to go until a voice whispered through the blackness._

 _"Come back to me Natsu..." The voice was soft and warm, holding something he couldn't identify. Something reacted in his chest, something that wasn't the regret and self-loathing that wedged in his heart._

 _She probably knew him from this current time and cared. She wouldn't be here if she knew what a monster he was. She wouldn't even look at him if she knew about what he was, how he had to kill his brother or how he died. No, no one in their right mind would look at him twice if they knew._

"Lucy!" The Master barked.

"What?" She asked, blinking.

"He thinks you don't know."

"Don't know what?" she snapped.

"That he died, is a demon, has to kill his brother and is 400 years from the past."

"WHAT?"

"Just say you know and accept because he doesn't know you but you made him feel hope or love. I don't know which but it was something."

Lucy nodded, before whispering to Natsu, soft golden hair falling over his face.

"Oi, and don't tell him I'm an annoying old man either!" Makarov yelled.

Lucy giggled before carrying on talking to the demon.

 _The voice... Lucy it was her... She was here. How, was she here? Who was she? He didn't remember much but her voice had summoned some memories from the back of his mind and he knew that she was someone_ very _inportant to him and that he'd give his life to save in an instant. He wanted to know, every fibre of his being strained to remember. Yet somehow he couldn't and he was willing to bet that the book had taken all of his memories and was hiding them from him. He wanted them back so much it hurt but that book wouldn't let him remember._

 _That was, until she started talking. Lucy told him all about their adventures, the fun they had and all about Fairy Tail. At first he was confused, did Fairies even exist and what did they have to do with anything? Then she said three words that caused a massive change in everything._

 _Then the book broke like a dam and memories poured into his head. They didn't fall in one by one like the others but rather rushed all at once and demanded to be felt and examined. His head started pounding, vision becoming blurry as he struggled to comprehend everything that was happening. He couldn't help it, in the suffocating darkness he threw back his head and screamed._

Everyone jumped when the dragon slayer moved. His whole body tensed and by the looks of things he was clinging to Lucy's hand like a life line. His expression turned to a wince and Makarov's eyes flew to the book. His eyes widened as he skimmed the pages. He looked up again to see the others staring at him.

"Well, what's going on? What does it say?" Gray asked impatiently.

"Well, getting his memories back isn't exactly a pleasant expreience." He summed up.

"What's going on?" Erza snapped. Master just chucked her the book. She caught it with the reflexes of the warrior she was and flipped until she found the page. Her eyes widened as she took in what was on the pages before chucking the books at Makarov who skipped to the words being added. He sagged into his chair with relief. Just then the guild mark on Natsu's shoulder began to glow, so bright that the exeeds and Team Natsu had to cover their eyes.

They cried with releif. Natsu was begining to sit up, looking dazed. Happy cried out and flew into his arms. Natsu stroked his ears, looking around slowly. There was a faint buzz of noise from the guild and everyone guiltily remembered with a jolt that nobody knew what happened and it must have looked worrying. They darted out into the main building to reassure the guild and get something to eat, noting to bring something as well.

Slowly they all left, leaving Natsu and Lucy alone. It was then, and only then that he started to cry. Tears streamed down his face. Lucy put her arms round him but didn't say anything, giving him silent comfort. It was all he needed.

"Thank you." Natsu murmured softly. "For... Well, everything. I love you Luce."

"Thank _you_ for coming back to me." Lucy whispered. "I've told you once and I'll say it again, I love you Nasu Dragneel."

"Luce, I-"

Makarov cleared his throat in the corner. He wasn't even looking at them but was instead absorbed in a book and appeared to be chuckling. Looking closer they realised that it was the book of E.N.D and he was flicking through the earlier pages.

Natsu growled and leapt forward, snatching the book and glaring at the sheepish old man.

"What do you think you're doing?" He hissed.

"Reading, who knew you were such a per- OW!" Makarow yelped when Natsu hit him on the head with the book.

"For a guild master you aren't very proffesional, you know, Mast- Gramps." Natsu winced at the end, clutching his head.

"Natsu?" Makarov asked, voice fading to concern.

"Yeah." he grunted.

"Are you okay, you never used respect before."

Natsu gave a weak chuckle. "I was raised with manners you know. Igneel never really focused on how to be polite but my human parents were different. Heh, ironic that the book gives me manners instead of making me the demon I'm supposed to be."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Makarov, causing Natsu to laugh bitterly.

"I'm not okay just yet, I have a lot of thinking to do. But I think I'll be okay soon."

"Natsu..." Lucy started but he cut her off.

"Hey Luce, read the book. From the start. Then maybe you'll see who I am."

Lucy read the book. She started to understand why he wasn't the old Natsu anymore but accepted who he was. Natsu Dragneel wasn't a demon, he was just slightly sadder and smarter than he was before. That and he had lost a lot but had also gained a lot. She ended up running from her house, book left open on the most recent page. She found him on a cliff, watching the stars.

"Hey." he gave her a small smile, ghost of his old grin.

"Hey." She smiled softly. Taking his hand, she sat beside him.

"I don't care that you're not who you once were, I still love you."

"I thought that you loved the old me, not who I am now."

She laughed, a real laugh, not something fake or bitter. "Pity that not all of us have a book to explain ourselves with."

He laughed at that, taking her other hand. He was Natsu Dragneel, the boy who could still smile.


End file.
